God's Plan.........

Thinking about her.........It's amazing how this little girl who is so far away is loved so much. Everyday we pray that God gives us a court date so we can touch her little fingers, kiss her sweet face, hold her tiny feet, and give her all the love she deserves. I never realized that this part of the process would be so hard. I thought that once we got a referral we would feel "at peace" because God picked our daughter out and soon she would be joining our family. I feel like I am always asking God to give me patience. With that said, I think God is giving me opportunities to be patient.  It has definitely not been easy...........


While we have been waiting, our little girl got very sick. We could tell she looked sick in her pictures. When she was moved into the foster home, she had a parasite that she contracted while at the orphanage. The parasite made her very sick. She ended up being admitted to the hospital with pneumonia and gastroenteritis. She had to be on oxygen and an IV for a few days. However, we know that God was with her the entire time. One week later, she was back in the foster home. When they sent us our update, she was finally smiling! I had several pictures of her, but she was never smiling. Not only was I happy that she was out of the hospital, but that she was finally happy! 

It's been 2 months since we fell in love with this little angel. We decided to name her Keira Marie. She now weighs 12lbs. I love everything about this little girl. I love her fingers, toes, nose, cheeks, legs, ears, BIG eyes, and everything else..........God picked the perfect little girl for us to love forever.

Now, we continue to wait......... we had our first court date on Nov. 28th. This court date does not involve us. This is when the court system reviews papers, interviews the birth mother, and requests the Federal MOWA letter. Once they have BOTH letters, they will assign us a court date that we will attend. We have yet to hear anything about the Nov. 28th court date. However, no news, is good news! With that said, we continue to trust in God's plan. We have to trust that God's timing is PERFECT. I have to stop feeling discouraged and just have faith.  I catch myself feeling discouraged, whining about not getting a court date, worrying that something is wrong, complaining that other cases are moving much faster than ours and then I realize that I am not really trusting and allowing God to be in control. Worrying will do nothing, but make this whole process harder and longer. God can move mountains, yet I am worrying?! With that said, I am letting go of all my worries and trusting in God.We will continue to pray for her and that she will be HOME soon.

 Matthew 21:21

Jesus replied, "I tell you the truth, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and it will be done.

Mark 11:24 Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them.

Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

It's a GIRL!!!!

Where do I begin???? On Tuesday, I was sitting at my desk checking my email and there it was..........."The Referral" email that I had dreamed and prayed about receiving! My heart dropped. My husband and I talked about this moment and we agreed that we would wait for each other to look at it. I just couldn't help myself though. I LOOKED! I had to see my daughter! I opened the email and there she was...my beautiful little angel. She was absolutely PERFECT!! I cannot express the emotions I felt when I saw her for the first time.God is so good!! I still cannot believe that God is so gracious and is giving us this beautiful angel to love forever. Once my children were out of school, I showed them the pictures. They were just as excited as I was!! Not only do I love her already, but my children love her just as much. They keep saying they can't wait to play with their new baby sister. God has guided us through this whole process. Every time we felt defeated, stressed, or overwhelmed, He was there comforting and reassuring us that He will always be with us.. Recently, Matt and I were struggling financially so we just kept praying that God would provide what we needed. We still owed some of our agency fees and we would've had to pay fees when we accepted a referral. The whole idea combined with daily life's struggles began to overwhelm us, but we continued to pray and have faith that God would provide. Sure enough, like He always does, God provided in a BIG way! We received a $6,000 grant from Show Hope which takes care of all our agency fees. How amazing is that!!!! We stepped out in faith and God displayed His grace and love. Every day I carry her pictures around with me. I cannot stop looking at her sweet face. God is so faithful! I just pray that we won't have to wait very long to bring our little girl home to her family. 

Having Faith

We did it, we finished the "paper-chase" our dossier is in Ethiopia! We are so excited to finally wait! I never thought we'd get to this step in this process. It definitely hasn't been easy and I know it will continue being a challenge. However, I am not worried because God is in control! A few weeks ago, Matt and I owed $3,700 to our agency. With that said, we knew we had to HAVE FAITH. I currently have the summer off while Matt works. It's been rough! We decided to try taking out another small loan. Since Matt and I already have a loan, we could only get an extra $1,600-1,800 more. Then, we realized Matt's tuition is due in August and we will have to pay about $600-800 for the first payment. That means we will only have $1,000 left for the adoption fees! We still owed $2,700!!!! Matt and I continued to HAVE FAITH and prayed every night. Finally, we emailed our pastor and associate pastor and asked them if we could have a fundraiser at our church. Our pastors were thrilled to support us! They were excited to help us do a fundraiser. So, they told us that we would do the "cook-out" in 2 weeks and that all we needed to do is bring a few drinks and ice. THAT WAS IT! I felt a little helpless, but extremely grateful!

Our hotdog and hamburger fundraiser was super simple. It was probably the easiest fundraiser we have had so far. Moe's even donated some Moo Moos, chips, and salsa! We have never felt so much support and love like we did that day. Matt and I are so blessed to have such an amazing church family. So many people went above and beyond to support us. God really laid it on so many people's hearts to donate.Guess how much we raised....... around $2,700! We raised just enough money!!! Matt and I had FAITH, and God provided!!!!

Pleasing God, not people.......

I felt I needed to blog about a few things that have been weighing on my heart lately.......

Recently, someone told us that they didn't agree with what we were doing and they couldn't "support" us.  They didn't understand why we aren't adopting from the United States and they said "charity starts at home". Well, my home is in Heaven. This place is my temporary home. God wants us to care for orphans. He did not say, "only orphans that live near you." It really shocked me because this person is a christian. We are changing an orphan's life. It doesn't matter where she was born.  My husband told  the couple that God led us to adopt from Ethiopia and that this is His will. They then told him that God doesn't lead you to do things. You choose to do things and if you pray about it, He will make it happen.  At this point, I was allowing someone to upset me. This whole journey has been God's plan from the beginning. Yes, God does lead you! God puts things in your heart and as a christian you have the choice to do His will. Unfortunately, by following God and doing His will people aren't always going to agree with what we do. Matt and I do not live in a big house, drive fancy cars, have a lot of money, and we do not have a very supportive family at times. However, we HAVE FAITH. We have two beautiful children, jobs that pay our bills, cars that get us to our destinations, and enough money to survive, and a wonderful supportive church family! Most importantly we have God in our lives. We live for God! It wasn't that long ago that Matt and I just went about living our daily lives without making God the center of it. We finally realized that you can't get the most out of your life without making God our #1 priority! With that said, I have told myself not to worry. God is in control of my life. Matt and I are standing behind our decision to be obedient to God's calling for our family. He wants us to adopt from Ethiopia and we are doing His will. It may not seem practical to many people in our lives, but we are not living for them. We are living for God. One day, we will have our little girl at home with us and she will have a great, Christ-centered life! We will teach her about God, love her, clothe her, make her laugh, and do all the things that one of God's precious children deserves. Most important.....we will change a little girl's life forever!

God's Blessings Along the Way

Well, it's been a very long time since Bridgette has posted anything. So, I figured I would post an update. A lot has happened since we switched agencies.We have done a few fundraisers since we switched. Let me tell you about the fundraisers. Since Bridgette is a teacher, we decided to do another fundraiser at the primary school where her mom is a teacher. I was not as excited as Bridgette was because I knew who would be doing the fundraiser....ME. It was as awkward as I imagined it would be. I did a BBQ luncheon at the primary school with ONLY woman. I was the only man sitting in the teacher's lounge as the teachers came in and shared their morning stories. I felt a little out of place at times. However, it did get easier. I even came back the next day to do another fundraiser. It was just as awkward the second time. If you know me, you know that I am not a very social person. Throwing this fundraiser was really big for me and I know that God was by my side the entire time. I am very grateful for the teachers who donated and tried to make me feel as comfortable as possible. Bridgette, however, thoroughly enjoyed that I felt uncomfortable throwing this fundraiser alone.  We raised about $450 at the primary school.

Our 2nd and 3rd fundraiser- We had a wonderful couple help plan our 'Bounce n BBQ' fundraiser. We passed out flyers everywhere we could think of: 3 different schools, VBS at a church, and I even passed them out to every car in the Food City parking lot( that was fun :/ ) We had four inflatables, BBQ, hotdogs, etc. We were very grateful for everyone who came out and supported our adoption. I even returned the next day and did a fundraiser lunch at the church. We raised about  $1,800 altogether. We were a little disappointed with the turn out considering how much we advertised it to our community. Later that night we held a "pity party" at our house that nobody came to either. :) We were hoping for more people and donations, but we then realized that this is all God's plan and His plan is perfect.

Last week, we sold a boat that was donated to us. Even though the boat's motor was busted, we still sold it for $1,200. God is good!

During this time we have also made great progress with our dossier. We had our biometrics appointment and got our 171H approval letter, had our papers county and state sealed, and we are currently waiting on two grant decisions. We are very close to the end of this process. Today, we are sending our dossier to our agency. Even though we do not have all the funds, we are still sending our papers so they can be processed while we raise the remainder of the money. As humans, it's very easy to stress and worry. Bridgette and I both catch ourselves worrying about the money at times. We still need $3,700 for our dossier. With Bridgette not working during the summer it has been a challenge to keep up with the bills and get the money for the adoption at the same time. We know that God will provide every last cent in some form or another and that we need to have more faith and just trust in Him. We will, of course, still need to raise money as we get closer to traveling to Ethiopia. It is a long and tiresome journey, but we believe nothing worthwhile is gained without struggle.

What can you do?....... PRAY.
1. Pray that we receive a grant
2. Pray that our next fundraiser is a success
3.Pray that we will have faith to finish the race.

The SWITCH

Well, recently it's been very busy at the Milam house. We are actually in the process of switching agencies, which means we have to redo and collect additional documents for our new agency. The only downside is that we were very close to finishing our dossier and then we decided to switch!  We have prayed a lot about this sudden change in direction and we feel that God has graciously provided us with this opportunity. Yes, it's overwhelming! Yes, it's more work! Yes, it's more money! However, we are just following what our Lord has laid out for us and I know that God is in total control! It truly amazes me to see God's work firsthand. He has always provided for and looked after us which is why we felt that this change was His plan all along. Last week, a wonderful couple offered to help us throw a big fundraiser with inflatables, food, and much more. I am so grateful for their kindness and willingness to take on such a huge task. They told me that this was their calling from God to help those who are trying to adopt. Then, I received an email from someone asking me if I would want his boat to sell for our adoption. We know nothing about boats, but we were definitely excited to accept his generous donation. I hardly know this person and he felt he needed to give us his boat to sell while receiving nothing in return. Today, as I was sitting at my desk, one of my coworkers showed me his church bulletin which contained an announcement about our desire to adopt. He asked people if they felt led to donate to our cause then please do so. Every time I witness God at work in mine and other peoples lives it lifts and renews my spirit. GOD IS AMAZING! There are still a few odds and ends left to finish for our dossier and ,of course, it requires an impatient woman like me to wait. However, I know that God's timing is perfect and His plan is without flaw. I just ask everyone to please pray for us and the beautiful little girl God has chosen for us. I pray that the love of Christ shine through us all.

I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me. Galatians 2: 20

My Fundraiser

All the Yummy Food!!

Yummy Treats

The wonderful woman who planned my fundraiser

 

Having a great time

 

My wonderful co-workers

The food was great!!!

Add caption

  

Enjoying his food!

Full of BBQ!

These wonderful woman worked very hard at my fundraiser

I am so thankful for all these amazing people who helped and donated!!! We raised $405 at the BBQ lunch!

Our first fundraiser!

We are still waiting on our home study papers so we can complete the USCIS process. Other than that, we have everything else ready for our dossier! A wonderful woman named Megan is doing a fundraiser at my work this week. Several other ladies are helping as well. They are providing lunch to all my co-workers. I can do a lot of things, but fundraising is not my specialty. It is very hard for me to ask people to donate even though they aren't donating to me. Anyone who donates truly makes a difference, they are saving a little girl's life. I am so appreciative of all these wonderful ladies. They are truly a blessing. Even though Spring has sprung at my work and my students are ready for ((Spring Break)) and so are teachers, I love my job! I respect everyone at my job. I truly could not imagine working anywhere else. I work with amazing people and I get to make a difference in children's lives! The money I earn from the fundraiser will be used for our dossier fees. We need enough money to send off our dossier to Ethiopia! (I am getting really excited!) A dossier consist of a lot of documents such as: our birth certificates, marriage certificate, physicals, reference letters, home study, employment letters, police reports, passports, etc. It will cost us $7,700 to send everything off.

DOSSIER SUBMISSION & WAITING

Courier Service
$150

2nd Installment of Program Fee
$2,000

Post Adoption Report Deposit(fully refundable if all post-adoption reports are returned on time)
$1,000

Dossier Service & Translation
$800

1/2 International Program Fee (1 child) •••
$3,750

Total=$7,700

 Right now, Matt and I have about 6,000 saved. I know that God will provide. He has provided us with the money since the beginning of this process! God is so good. I am so honored to do His will. Sometimes, I get so excited that I get kind of impatient. We recently got an email saying that our wait for a referral has increased. I become so discouraged because I am ready to open my heart to another child now. Then, I realized that God's timing is perfect. I need to trust in Him. I need to realize that this isn't my plan, this is His plan. Recently, Matt and I even discussed Uganda because their process is much quicker and slightly cheaper. If we went with Uganda, we would not work with our agency. We would work with an attorney in Uganda. We contacted several people, but it seemed like every door was shut. I felt frustrated again, because I can be a little impatient at times. Once again I realized that this is all apart of God's plan. He will guide us through this whole process. He has the perfect child already picked out for us. For those who don't know me,  I can be a little eager sometimes. I need to trust in God and appreciate everything God is doing in our lives. Matt and I recently changed our age request to 0-5 years old. With that said, most likely we will get an older child. I am so excited. That means that our little girl could already be out there. I often wonder if she is okay? What is she going through? Is she hungry? Does she feel loved?  So many things go through my mind everyday. All I can do is ask God to protect our little girl. One day she will be in our arms and we will be able to show her our love forever!

I have a lot on my heart today. There's a little girl in Uganda that needs a family. Our agency does not do adoptions through Uganda so if we pursue this adoption, we will be on our own.  I already fill overwhelmed with the help of  my agency. How will we do this on our own?! Then I realized, God will guide us through everything! This little girl is autistic and has epilepsy. Matt and I have always thanked God for our healthy children and now we are considering making this little girl our very own!?!  I do not even know if  it will be possible to adopt her. At the moment, we are contacting several people and trying to figure out if this is even a option. I have moments when I stop and think........will this be too much to handle? What would my children think? Then I realized.....God has a plan for us. He will not fail us. He would not give us anything we couldn't handle! He wants us to be faithful to Him and Obey Him. What if this is God's plan. I do not know if my family would understand either. I am sure people are going to ask us.......WHY???? Why would we want a special needs child when there are so many healthy ones out there. Well, we am not "picking" our child. God will decide who He wants us to have. He is the one who put adoption on our hearts so He knows what He is doing. I know that my children would embrace this little girl, too. Matt and I have both cried over this little girl.  So, I ask anyone who reads this, pray!!!! Pray that God will show us the way. Pray that this little girl finds a family if it's not us.

HOW MUCH WILL THIS ADOPTION COST????????

HOW MUCH WILL THIS ADOPTION COST????????

If It Only Grew On Trees!!!

I have had several people ask me about the cost related to our adoption.

I think often times people are amazed with the cost of bringing our daughter home.

I thought I would post the numbers for you as well as the timeline for the process.

As you read the financial obligations please pray with us that we would trust God to provide for our every need!

Application and Dossier Preparation

Application Fee
$250

1st Installment of Program Fee
$1,500

Home Study (varies by state)
$1,200 - $2,500

Additional Home Study Documentation Prep. Fee (varies by process)
$0 - $100

Home Study Visit Travel Fees(could include mileage, etc. based on current federal mileage rates)
$0 - $200

Adoptive Parent Training (2 adults)
$175

Documents/Background Checks/Miscellaneous(varies by state and number of states previously lived in)
$100 - $1,000

USCIS Fee & Update Fee + Fingerprinting
$890

Notarization, Certification & Authentication (varies by state)
$400

DOSSIER SUBMISSION & WAITING

Courier Service
$150

2nd Installment of Program Fee
$2,000

Post Adoption Report Deposit(fully refundable if all post-adoption reports are returned on time)
$1,000

Dossier Service & Translation
$800

1/2 International Program Fee (1 child) •••
$3,750

REFERRAL & TRAVEL

International Specialist Consultation (varies by specialist)
$100 - $400

3rd Installment of Program Fee
$1,500

Post Adoption Administrative Fee
$385

1/2 International Program Fee (1 child) •••
$3,750

Trip 1 - Airfare (2 adults; prices will vary by season and location)
$2,400 - $4,000

Trip 1 - In-Country Travel Package (2 adults) ••••
$1,400 - $2,500

Trip 1 - Visas (2 adults)
$40

Trip 2 - Airfare (2 adults; prices will vary by season and location)
$2,400 - $4,000

Trip 2 - Airfare(1 child; prices will vary by season, location and ticket - ie: lap pass or child seat)
$250 - $1,000

Trip 2 - In-Country Travel Package (2 adults) ••••
$1,000 - $2,000

Trip 2 - Visas (2 adults)
$40

Visa/Embassy Fee (1 child) •••••
$404

POST  ADOPTION 

Post Adoption Visits (varies by state)••

$600 - $1,300

Post Adoption Visit Travel Fees(varies by state and location from social worker)
$0 - $300

TOTAL •$25,484 - $35,334

I hope this helps answer some of the questions that you all have asked about the cost to bring our daughter home.

FEELING OVERWHELMED FOR US YET??

DON'T

We have been so blessed to see God's hand in this entire process, including the finances. When we first felt called to adoption, the money really scared us. We talked about putting it off because we just didn't know how WE were going to make this fit into OUR budget.

The Lord has challenged us to obedience. Following Him isn't always easy..it doesn't always make sense and I assure you that you never know what is around the corner. However, we trust that He has called us and He will provide right when we need it. This is not about our budget or anything that we can do on our own. This is all about HIM!! We are stepping forward in faith.

Our Home Study Visit With Our Children

Our social worker came today to interview our children. I was a little nervous that my children would say something to embarrass us. Children say the funniest things. They are constantly saying things to embarrass us. That's okay because one day we can embarrass them back!  I think they did a great job. Kaylin, however, told our social worker that our dog bit our cat. REALLY??? Our dog has NEVER bitten our cat. She continued to tell her that Chupa, our cat, has bitten our dog, too. Again, NO SHE HASN'T.  So now our social worker probably thinks that we have wild animals. Silly little girl!!! Chupa, our cat, has hissed at our dog, but that is about it. Then, as we were all sitting on the couch, Kaylin yells at her brother, "GET OFF ME!"-he was sitting very close to her. After that, they started arguing over the remote! *sigh*  HA HA. All I could do is look at Matt and smile. I am just glad that was all they did. Last night, as we were talking about our social worker coming, Kaylin says, "Mom, we will not call her poopy pants."  At that moment, I thought to myself....this will be a hit or miss. They will either embarrass us or say all the right things. But you know what.....it went great! I stressed over NOTHING. Everything went great. What a great day! My children are wonderful, too!  I honestly do not know what I would do without those two in my life. They are constantly making us laugh! Kaylin is very outspoken. She is our tomboy princess. She wants to do everything her brother does. Kyler is very smart and oh he loves to talk, too. His teachers probably wish they could push "mute" on him. He does have a HUGE heart though. He loves building legos. He amazes me everyday. Kaylin and Kyler are best friends. They truly love one another. The moment we told our kids that we were adopting they were so excited. Kaylin cannot wait for a sister. Kyler, however, wants a brother. Every day we talk about the adoption. Kaylin loves talking about her sister in Africa. Kaylin also loves looking at Ethiopian children. She is always asking us if the girls in those pictures are her sister. She is so eager to meet her sister. We do not even know her yet, and we love her! Every night Kyler prays for the orphans. He is excited to change someones life. I cannot wait to bring a little girl into our home. I know it will not be easy at first, but we have A LOT of love to give! When Kaylin and Kyler are apart, they are always thinking about one another. When I take Kaylin to the store, she wants to buy her brother a toy. Kyler always wants to make or buy Kaylin gifts, too. I am truly blessed to have such amazing children.

Feeling a little discouraged

I feel very discouraged today. I got an email today saying that the wait time trend has continued to increase,  they see the need to amend the time frame in order to better represent expectations for families receiving referrals.  The wait times are increasing from 14-18 months to 18-24 months for a male or female infant or toddler.  They do not have as many families requesting children four years and older and thus the wait for those families will likely be shorter than the current wait times.This is a process that is out of  my agency's hands and is contingent on the governmental bodies in Ethiopia. With that said, Matt and I are considering an older child. This will take a lot of prayers and discussions. Please keep us in your prayers. I know that God has a plan so we will trust in Him.

Matt and I have decided to start a blog.  I am really excited to share with all of our friends and family about what is happening in the process. I know it will not be easy and I am anticipating some bumps in the road, but it will be worth it at the end!! We would really appreciate your prayers. I look forward to all the Lord has for us in this coming year. Matt and I believe that God is calling us to adopt a baby from Ethiopia! God has been weaving our story together for some time, and we know as we wait for His timing He will display His handiwork in such a way that only He can do. We continue to be blessed beyond words as we see how His hands have given us hope through our adoption journey.